What older people might want?

I sometimes deliver flowers from the local church to folks living in the area. Here in Leith there are a large number of care homes, sheltered accommodation etc where older men and women live either in small flats or rooms.

In the busy lives people live these days, you might say, I do not have the time to do that - deliver flowers-and in any case -what if they want me to stop and chat!?

I recall reading a letter from a care home manager pleading for those who delivered the flowers not to just drop them in but to stay a while and chat. I do that when I can and also when I sense the person may welcome it - not everyone does of course.

What I have noticed is that some of those that I visit have all they need in terms of 'things' and 'food' but they welcome the company as the days can be long in separate rooms or flats. While communal living might not appeal to everyone, there might also be advantages to it in that hopefully there is conversation and interaction or something stimulating to see or respond to.

Today I visited two men, both of whom have family living nearby and who visit regularly.

While I go bearing a gift i.e. the flowers and hopefully a new face and some interesting conversation, I always come away with a gift or gifts! Well they do say it is better to give than to receive and these folks are living proof of that. I can come away with sweets, cakes, fruit but the gifts I treasure most are their stories. I shared experiences and stories of Wick today - of places and pastimes like fishing and buying a firkin of herring.

At Christmas time we tend to be focused on gifts and I heard a couple arguing over a suitable gift for someone they did not know well. Someone expressed it well yesterday for me - " I do not want "things" as gifts. " Consumables" are better but best of all are " experiences" as they not only provide pleasure at the time but live on in the memory and can be replayed, again and again and again.

It is ironic that there are lots of people whose lives are too busy and who might wish they had time to meet and talk with friends and neighbours and there are people for whom the days are long and for whom a visit , even a short one might be the highlight of the day. These two groups of people have so much to say to each other and so much to share about life. A good starting point are the people and places they care about. The gift of time and companionship is priceless. Imagine a Scotland where people have time for each other.